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ALL ANIMALS ARE FUCKED
divinelybereft
About Zoos and documentaries about animals, I find it kind of frustrating that when I want to go learn ABOUT an animal, I have to be subjected to at least a half the documentary's content being "And then they will all die because they are dying animals because of everything you as a human contribute to every day."  You know, I know that already.  I learned about it the last million times.  I wish there was a series of documentaries that just taught you facts about animals.  Like you could take a test to see if you qualified to watch the Message Free Documentaries.  The "I already got it" Series.  And then for everyone who doesn't pass the test, they can watch documentaries with the message about how horrible humans are, but they would be narrated by Ross from Friends.

I mean, every time I pick a documentary to watch I am always just waiting for them to guilt trip me about them.  You know, if you make people feel guilty with EVERY documentary, people will start avoiding documentaries and then they won't learn about animals at all!  Plus I already hate all human interactions with the environment and animals and I think we are all shitheads so I kind of already know about how bad things are with us and animals.

You know what people will watch instead of documentaries about animals if they start avoiding them?  They will watch those over-dramatacized documentaries about space or science with all the scientists filmed at weird angles with their arms crossed and a wooshing noise playing while their name is on the screen.  WOOOSH Dr. Steven Armscrossed of Nevada Coolguy Scienceversity.  Right after the crossed arms introduction they always have the new guy say something like "We really don't know how many near earth objects there are because it is very difficult to track them."  While he is saying this they cut away to a graphic of the earth being raped by a million asteroids impacting and covering the earth in fire.  Then the narrator will say something like "Just how many times will the earth be rock raped by the next ten years?  Scientists SAY they don't know.  But it will be maybe 50 times."

I wish documentaries were a little better than they are, with more intelligent information.

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This whole post is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS. I mean, the funny parts.

I recommend - highly recommend! - the Life series by David Attenborough. After that, I recommend anything at all by David Attenborough. He's like the most wonderful naturalist/narrator in the world, and he's very old now, and he obviously has a lot of passion about nature that just comes through in the narration. Highly recommend.

One of our favorites of course was "The Life of Mammals" - I think that's a great place to start. Here is the disc list:

A Winning Design
Insect Hunters
Plant Predators
Chisellers
Meat Eaters
Opportunists
Return to Water
Life in the Trees
Social Climbers
Food for Thought

And if you can only see one, I think Social Climbers was really great. Also, the Food for Thought section might be the one where he talks about how humans are taking over the world - but I think the way he does it is inspiring as well as depressing, not an easy balance to strike.

I really want to get the whole Life series. Do not get it for me as a gift at any time, because I'm probably going to buy it soon now that I've reminded myself.

Note: DO NOT BE FOOLED by Discovery's Life 4-disc set narrated by Oprah. It sucks.

The real Life series is ENORMOUS, because he has been making it since the 70s. I just looked it up. The Life of Mammals lone is almost $50 on Amazon. And he also made The Life of Birds, Life in the Undergrowth, and more.

My recommendation is to check the library - we originally found it at FAU's library and checked it out one disc at a time.

Thanks for the information about the Life series. I will actually try to check it out since you have recommended it to me before and I thought it was probably similar to other documentaries, but not now that you know what kind of things I don't like in documentaries.

The only thing we have at the library right now is
"Attenborough in paradise and other personal voyages [videorecording]
"A collection of seven David Attenborough specials ... [that] represent some of David Attenborough's most personal quests and passionate enthusiasms."

That sounds pretty cool though, right? Ok, I am going to work on homework right now. I can't check that DVD out right now even though I am at the Christiansburg Library because it is at the Blacksburg Library.

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