So I was complaining to Lisa, yet again, about how awful my current chemistry class is and whining about the situation to her. I basically was saying it was so bad I didn't want to do it, at all. Not school, I mean, but the class. As in, I would rather fail the class to preserve my desire to continue studying science than force myself to study and do well in this particular class. Now, it's not that I have a problem with SCHOOL, or institutional learning... actually I do have a problem with that, but not such a problem that I can't do well... take my recent A in precalculus for example... but I do have a problem with BAD versions of those things... exemplified, currently, by my bizarrely inane chemistry class at NRCC. The most bizarre part is how awful it makes me feel to participate in the class. It's like it feels toxic to think in any kind of pattern similar to what the teacher has assigned... or at least I imagine it is. I thought it was too hard for me, actually, and that because the lectures weren't good I was upset because I felt like I couldn't do well.
Well, back in the car again, where I started this post, I was talking to Lisa about this, YET AGAIN, and wondering how to make it through this class. I was finally saying I would just take a bad grade in this class if I couldn't make myself do it the way they wanted and then retake it and appeal my admission to VT, when I came across a thought that then evoked a good feeling about the class... finally!
I decided that I am BORED. That's the emotion that is prevalent. I don't like lingering on stuff that no one cares to elaborate in some way, so I am BORED. We read a chapter and get a half assed lecture, then we get an amazingly difficult set of quizzes and a test after a couple of chapters. No homework.. one class a week. It's just terrible. Yet, despite doing BADLY on these tests, I finally realized that I am so much quicker minded than the pace of the information dissemination that to resume enjoying the material I need to read the book straight through as fast as possible. Only then will I enjoy ANY part of this class. Since my main problem has been that I haven't enjoyed listening to the lectures, for lots of reasons, but mostly because they don't engage me, and another problem has been that the book will do these stupidly out of context info shout outs that require knowledge it has not attempted to parlay to us yet... that the solution has always been to recontextualize the whole fucking affair... all of the material at once. Just read through the whole book.... not only that... but skip the shit that doesn't make any fucking sense yet! Then go back and read it later when it does!
I don't think this solution would work for most people, but as soon as I thought of it my mood improved dramatically and I could actually fathom opening my Chemistry book again, for fun! To satisfy my curiosity!
Anyways... what is the preliminary result, I hear you all wishing you weren't wondering... well... I have been reading the book for about 2 hours and 30 min now with 2 brief 5-10 min breaks and so far, knock on wood, I've enjoyed it and want to keep going.
The best part is that I know no matter what I did I would not have gotten a better grade on the tests and quizzes than I will despite my new plan... but shit, at least I like the material again!