Well I read that Downtown Blacksburg is conducting a survey and they want input on downtown businesses. I saw this on the website of a local newspaper. I was pretty excited to contribute. I thought I could suggest a video game retailer or a thrift store or a used book store. Well, no. The idiots think a PHARMACY is what is needed downtown. They think a pharmacy will contribute to the revitalization of Downtown Blacksburg.
What?
Do they think sickly and/or elderly people are wandering the streets of downtown lamenting the lack of a pharmacy?
This kind of shit makes me want to actually deal with political bullshit and run for town council... my slogan... Because you need someone who is not a fuckhead!
First thing I would do is review every fucking thing they are about to decide on and buy a box of pens to cross out 120% of it. That's right, I'd take a pen to their blank sheets of paper and just cross the whole page out preemptively. Done. Fixed. Time for new ideas.
Sigh.
If you want to contribute to the survey... here you go...
https://survey.vt.edu/survey/entry.jsp?id=1259637415066Ok and yeah, I know the Merchants of Professional Marketplace Dealers of Downtown Mercantile Farmer's Blanket and Sheepherders Anonymous is not actually part of the Blacksburg town council... but still.
Update:
I just found out that they removed some questions due to redundancy, but I found them in an old version...
Would you promise to hold dear a pharmacy in downtown Blacksburg?
In sickness?
In health?
Would you want to have children with said pharmacy?
Would these jeans make a pharmacy in downtown Blacksburg look fat?
Be honest?
You asshole.
What about a store that just sold designer scrubs for young doctors and nurses in Downtown Blacksburg?
Even if they had cartoon kittens and impressionistic dogs?
Snoopy?
What about a podiatrist in Downtown Blacksburg?
We paid someone $2,000 to come up with the idea of a pharmacy in Downtown Blacksburg. How does that make you feel?
We were thinking of putting in a dick-in-the-ass station, so you are all lucky. Rate this idea on a scale of one to ten, ten being worse than a pharmacy and one being medium rare.